Going to a funeral

The funeral

As with most funerals the service can take many forms, according to circumstances and the wishes of the deceased and their family. It can, for example, be short and simple with only a few members of the family present, or much longer, with many more people present, and with hymns and music and prayers and tributes to the deceased.

The funeral may take place in a parish church, or in the chapel of a crematorium, or even at home or in an undertaker's parlour.

Funerals usually follow the traditional order of service which includes the gathering, the address and tributes, readings and sermon, prayers, commendation and farewell, and the committal.
The service

During the gathering the family and mourners will arrive and the minister may meet the coffin at the door of the church. The minister will welcome everyone and introduce the service. Prayers will be said and a hymn may be sung. The minister and others may then make their tributes to the deceased.

This will be followed by readings from the Bible and by psalms or hymns. The Minister will preach a sermon, and will lead the congregation in prayer, beginning with thanksgiving for the life of the deceased and prayers for those who mourn.

The service ends with the commendation and farewell, in which the deceased is commended to God.

The committal

The committal may take place at the side of the grave, or in the crematorium, or possibly in the church before the body of the deceased is taken to the crematorium.

If the deceased is to be buried, the coffin will be taken to the grave, and as the coffin is lowered into it the minister will commit the body to the ground "in sure and certain hope of Resurrection to eternal life" (or words to that effect).

Reception after the funeral

The funeral may be followed by a reception in the family's house, or at some other location, where food and drink is served.

Memorial service

Many families will hold a memorial service or another event to mark the anniversary of the death of the deceased.

Some families may choose to arrange a small private funeral and then invite more distant relations and friends to a memorial service a few weeks or months later.
Charitable donations

The deceased person may have asked for a charitable donation to be made instead of flowers, in which case they will usually have specified a particular charity or good cause. The announcement of death made in a local or national newspaper is usually the place where the choice of the deceased or their family is made known.

The Church of Scotland has recognised that it is increasingly common for families to ask for a collection to be made during the funeral service for a charity of their or the deceased's choice, and for this collection to be made by the funeral directors.

The Church has drafted a style of undertaking which it recommends that funeral directors should be required to sign. This document can be accessed on the Church's website.

Modest attire

For those attending a funeral, formal clothing in subdued colours is usually expected.